Texting

Hey K girl wut up

Nothing, you?

u wont blieve dis

OMG, did Mike ask you out?!

better, got my license

Wow, congrats girl!

Going out to celebrate?

yup, want 2 come?

Sure, what time?

on my way now, c u in a few

You’re driving? You probably shouldn’t be texting...

dnt worry, I got it

Im 2 blocks away, b ready

Alright, I’m outside. You here yet, Bets?

Bethany?

Where are you? I hear sirens, and there’s smoke coming from the next block...

Bethany, are you okay? Message me, please!

They’re saying there’s been a car wreck, please tell me you’re okay!

BETHANY!

Hey, Bets. I feel stupid doing this...standing next to your hospital bed and texting you. Your phone’s not even on. But...it makes me feel closer to you somehow.

It’s been a week. The doctors say they don’t know how much brain damage there is, that even if you recover, you might not...be you. Remember anything. Remember us.

Everyone’s talking about you. They’ve got a prayer chain going for you at church. I think you’d like that.

I miss you. Miss doing stuff with you. We were going to go shopping today, remember? Find a cute top to go with that new skirt of yours.

They tell me I should start letting go. But I can’t, not yet.

I pray for you, every day.

So here I am, sending messages you’ll probably never see.

I miss you so much.

Kaci? Is that you?

...Bethany?

Where am I? It’s all dark...

Alright, who is this? Mike, if you’re messing around with me, I’m going to kill you!

It’s me, K girl, remember?

It can’t be!

Look, I’ve got your phone in my HAND. It’s off, I swear it is.

So who is this? How are you doing it?

I...I don’t know, I swear! I don’t know what’s going on!

Okay, that’s creepy. I turned your phone on, and I can see all our messages.

I saw your message type itself on your screen, and then it showed up on mine all by itself.

Bets? Is that really you?

Of course! I’m your best girl, remember? We swore never to prank each other!

Bets, I can’t believe it! How is this happening?

I don’t know. Am I really dead?

In a coma. They’re starting to talk about turning off life support.

Your dad wants to do it. He’s terrified you’re suffering in there. Your mom is still hoping you’ll wake up.

Please don’t let them pull the plug. I’m scared.

Me too.

We’ll get through this together, girl.

Do you think you can wake up?

I...I’ll try.

No. I don’t even know where I am. It’s just...all dark. I can’t see anything. All I can hear is your voice.

Kace...are my parents there? Can I talk to them?

Not yet, they’re talking to the doctor. When they get here, I’ll give them your phone.

I don’t know if they’ll believe me, but mayb

they’re coming

WHO IS THIS? OUR DAUGHTER IS DYING, AND YOU DECIDE TO PLAY SOME SORT OF CRUEL JOKE ON US?

Dad? It’s me, your butterfly girl!

STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL FIND YOU AND REPORT YOU!

Please, listen to me!

I AM TURNING THIS PHONE OFF NOW

I’m so sorry, Bets.

Bethany? Are you okay?

:’-(

I’m sorry, that was a stupid question.

Kaci...how bad is it really?

Pretty bad.

Do they think I’ll ever wake up?

Your dad said the doctor doesn’t think so.

He thinks it’s time.

Your mom...

Your mom is starting to think it would be healthier to just let you go.

I think your dad’s talking her into it.

He made me leave the room for “being disrespectful” by texting so much, but I’m hearing things like “vicious pranks” and “false hope”.

I don’t want to go, Kace. I’m scared.

So am I, girl.

But do you want to live like this forever?

...No.

And just think, you’ll get to see Grandma Jeanne again.

Yeah, I guess...

And remember the streets of gold, and the pearly gates?

I’m counting on you to show me around when I get there. :-)

Will you do that for me?

Of course, K. You’re my BFF.

Always.

Always.

Bets...it’s time. They’re doing it now.

...stay with me?

Of course. I’ll be right here.

How you doing?

I think...there’s something happening. I can see something.

It’s a bright light...it’s getting closer...

It’s okay, girl. You’ll be alright.

Oh, K girl, I wish you could see this.

It’s so – so beautiful.

I’m looking forward to it.

I’ll see you again. I promise.

Grandma’s there. She’s waving to me.

She’s got Papa Bear with her.

Go, B girl.

I’ll be waiting for you, Kaci. I hope it takes you a good long time to get here. But when you do, I’ll be here to hug you.

I’m counting on it. ;-)

See you later, K girl.

See you later, B girl.

Let's Meet the Meat

"It was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am." - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Tasty bovine, walking down the street,

Tasty bovine, the kind I’d like to eat,

Tasty bovine.

I’d like a piece of you, it’s true -

No one could look as good as you,

Savory.

Tasty bovine, won’t you nourish me?

Tasty bovine, I couldn’t help see

Tasty bovine.

That you look juicy as can be,

Great for hungry folks like me.

Yum.

Tasty bovine, lookin’ sweet -

Tasty bovine, meet the meat.

Tasty bovine, give your eats to me.

Tasty bovine, yeah yeah yeah,

Tasty bovine, come my way,

Tasty bovine, say you’ll stay in me.

‘Cause you’ll feed me, I’ll eat you right.

Steak, stew, or burger, be mine tonight.

Tasty bovine, don’t walk on by.

Tasty bovine, you need to die.

Tasty bovine, don’t let me starve, hey...okay.

If that’s the way it must be, okay.

I guess I’ll have a salad, maybe – great.

With ranch or Thousand Island – wait!

What do I smell?

Steak is sizzling, I can tell.

Ahhh, that juicy, seasoned smell.

Tasty bovine!