Parodies

(To "Teen Angel")

One fateful day, the TARDIS lost, we got stuck in the past.

We found some DVDs and left a message meant to last.

Stone angels, you should fear them;

Stone angels, if you see them,

Just don’t blink or look away,

Or they’ll send you to the past to stay.

The Angels have the phone box and they’ll try to get inside,

To steal its timey-wimey power, and they’ll not be denied.

 (chorus)

It’s up to you to save us all, dear Sally Sparrow true;

Just give the TARDIS this CD, and she’ll know what to do.

(To "Rockin' Robin")

They roam through the alleys all night long,

Smacking and a-bopping and a-righting all wrong.

All the dirty crooks out on the street

Fear to face the Robin and meet defeat.

Bats and Robin.

Well, go, Batman, Robin, gonna stop a lot of crime tonight.

See how Poison Ivy, see Ra’s al Ghul,

See how Mr. Freeze even loses his cool.

There goes the Joker and Harley Quinn

No matter how they try, they will never win.

(chorus)

The dark and gloomy Batman in the Batcave’s night

Took an acrobat and taught him how to fight.

Then when he was ready, how that Robin flew –

He catnapped Catwoman and the Penguin too!

DailyLife.js

public static void main(String[] args) {

Human person = new Human();

Cat fluffy = new Cat();
Meal breakfast, lunch, dinner = new Meal();
TaskList chores = new TaskList();

for (int i  = 1; i <= 365; i++)

{

        int day = i % 7;

        fluffy.wakeUp();

        fluffy.wakeHuman(person);

        person.feedCat(fluffy);

        person.getDressed();

        person.eat(breakfast);

        if (day == 0)

                person.goToChurch();

        else if (day == 6) {}

        else

                person.goToWork();

        while (!chores.areDone() )

        {

                person.doTasks(chores);

                if (person.isHungry() )

                {

                        person.goToKitchen();

                        person.eat(lunch);

                }

        }

       

        person.setFreeTime(true);

        while (person.hasFreeTime()  && !person.isTired() )

        {

                person.play();

                if (person.isHungry() )

                {

                        person.goToKitchen();

                        person.eat(dinner);

                }

        }

        person.feedCat(fluffy);

        if (person.isTired() )

                person.goToBed();

}

}

Balrogy

‘Twas midnight, and the pounding drums

Did boom and rumble in the deep.

The Fellowship—how far they’d come!—

Did hardly dare to sleep.

“Beware the Balrog, Mithrandir!

The magic dark, the swift attack!

Beware Ungoliant, and fear

Ancalagon the Black!”

He took his elven blade in hand;

Long time through Khazad-dûm they walked.

They made their stand in a cavern grand,

With no more time to talk.

But as they stood prepared to fight,

The Balrog grim, with whip of flame,

Strode forth all cloaked in wings of night,

And thundered as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

Bright Glamdring hewed the fiery sword.

They battled long, from depths to peak,

Ere Balrog broke upon the sward.

“And hast thou slain the Balrog, then?

Come, garb thyself in robes of white!

Oh frabjous day! Calloo, callay!”

Thus Gandalf grew in might.

‘Twas daylight, and the pounding drums

Did no more rumble in the deep.

The Fellowship had come and gone,

And Moria did sleep.

Customer Service Pantheon

O ye peons in customer service, beware, lest ye rouse the wrath of the dreaded CS Demons!

Chief of the Pantheon, Dark Lord of Despair, He Who Is Always Right
Invocation: "The customer is always right!"

His wife, Lady of Escalation, She Who Seeks Higher Authority
Invocation: "I want to speak to your manager!"

The Psychic, He Who Gives Insufficient Information

The Voluble, She Who Gives Too Much Information
Twin sister of the Psychic

Lord Stentorian, Shatterer of Eardrums
Invocation: [incoherent roar of rage]

Lady Credence, She Who Has Faith In The Impossible
"You say it will take a week? Great, I'll be expecting it tomorrow."

The Unintelligible, He Who Cannot Be Comprehended

The Bewildered, She Who Does Not Comprehend
Twin sister of the Unintelligible

Lady Unfettered, She Who Is Exempt From All Policies

The Entitled, She Who Is Owed All Things
Often teams up with Lady Unfettered

The Profane, Bestower of Epithets, Lord of Foul Language
Invocation: [unprintable]

The Troll, Lord of Shock, Master of False Pretenses
Not a genuine member of the pantheon, but loves masquerading as one