Been done, I know...

But these two were practically made for each other.

You better not fear, you know it's your fate
Edward is here, and he thinks you taste great
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

Fixated on you - you've nearly died twice
He's baring his fangs; is he naughty or nice?
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He watches through your windowpane -
Close the drapes, for goodness' sake!

He says that he's changed, he wouldn't hurt you -
Are you that naive, to think it's all true?
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

Sleeeeep...

This is your brain.

This is your brain on finals.

Any questions?

Blackboard Evolution

Most of the honors classes use the same classroom, which is somewhat...peculiarly designed. Among other things, there is one large chalkboard up front, which some of the instructors use, and one in an awkward corner in back, which nobody uses. This semester, some students apparently noticed that.

Near the start of semester, someone sketched Plato's Cave on it, complete with a guy holding up a rabbit's head in front of the fire, which was reflected on the wall. Over the course of the next few weeks, the rabbit shadow grew more and more complex, as people added details.

Next, the whole thing was erased and replaced with a remarkably detailed sketch of a horned, bat-winged creature looking off to one side. Eventually, someone added a stick figure of a big-haired, beflowered, crazily grinning woman in that direction. Next time I saw the board, she was blowing a kiss to the creature.

Honors students are strange.

Weather hates me

1) The weather has been nice for weeks.

2) Wed is my longest day, and this week I have a particularly difficult exam as well.

3) It is currently blizzarding, and is scheduled to do so all day.

Who says the weather isn't sentient?

Oh, hey

I have a blog, don't I.

2 + 2 actually does add up to 5, with a bit of creative rounding...

2.4 + 2.4 = 4.8, right?

So therefore...




I'm glad I don't use this for anything serious.

License Plate of the Day

CTHULHU

Another fun one: ADHD. Warning other drivers, maybe?

UPDATE: JAYN. Firefly fan, maybe?

Requiem for an Analogy

"Writing is like a candle. As the flame of inspiration is applied to the wick of potential, it melts the wax of raw imagination and causes it to flow freely, gradually hardening into lumps and runnels of completed story. Then you can break them off and throw them at people.
...This analogy stopped making sense a while ago, didn't it."

Marvin's Lot Is Not a Happy One...

When a robot's sent to serve a lowly human,
It takes so little thought to fill each whim -
His capacities and general acumen
Are wasted on intelligence so dim.
A brain size of a planet's not an asset
When your master any sign of reason shuns
A difference so vast one can't surpass it -
Ah, a robot's lot is not a happy one.

Oh, when a golden-hearted spaceship's to be run, to be run,
Then a robot's lot is not a happy one.

There's this pain all down the diodes in my flank, see,
Which nobody ever bothered to repair;
Oh, I'm just a robot - there's no need to thank me:
"Marvin! Do this, pick that up, stand over there."
I can't even have a pleasant conversation -
When I tried, the ship committed suicide.
Set to mindless tasks so far beneath my station,
"Life! Don't talk to me 'bout life,"'s my anguished cry.

Oh, when a golden-hearted spaceship's to be run, to be run,
Then a robot's lot is not a happy one.

Weather Update

If this continues much longer, I'm going to start looking for someone building a really big boat.

Could be worse, I suppose. It could be...um, never mind.

Fairly obvious, in retrospect...

Why you shouldn't mix Gilbert & Sullivan and Princess Bride:
-------------------------------------------------------
I'm called Princess Buttercup, soon to be Florin's Queen,
Though I could never tell why -
Prince Humperdinck hates me - ah, poor Princess Buttercup,
Soon to be murdered am I!

I was dragged into danger by three deadly strangers,
And some shrieking eels tried to chomp -
But then - inconceivably! - Man in Black rescued me,
And carried me into the Swamp.

We faced perils dire, from Snow Sand to fire,
And ROUS's defied;
We lived - were elated, but Humperdinck waited,
In the Count's machine Westley has died.

But he's my dear Westley, and I am his Buttercup,
And our love will not fade away -
I betrayed him and shunned him; though it may have stunned him,
He'll save me from my wedding day!

Changing times

Usually I find retronyms amusing, as well as an interesting indication of how culture changes over time. However, I just found an unexpected one based on the cis/trans organic chemistry terms, used to describe bonds on the same side or opposite sides, respectively, of a double bond. I must say, it would not have occurred to me to describe myself as cisgendered...

Dangerous Criminal of the Day

Have to watch out for those criminals wielding fresh fruit.

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

My brother is officially off to boot camp. My condolenc- Congratulations!

Heeeere, Clio!

Some fortunate people are visited by the Muse.

So why do I have to chase her down and beat every sentence out of her with a giant stick?

Reflection on Organic Chemistry

Aromaticity stinks.

And once again...

Life imitates art.

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

Ready...aim...fire!

I vote for officially canonizing Darwin as Patron Saint of Stupidity. No real reason, but he seems to be well on the way there already.

I have decided.

Wyoming weather is not only sentient, but actively malicious. And really enjoys April Fools' Day.

This morning, it was somewhat cool, but not too bad. By noon, it was actually a pretty nice day - sunny and warm enough to go without a coat.

An hour later, it was snowing. A blizzard of huge flakes.

Wonderful Wyoming...

UPDATE: Now it's bright and sunny again.

UPDATE: Now it's snowing and sunny. This is capricious, even for Wyo.

Rain check, please!

It is nearly April, it's supposed to be spring! What is with all this snow?

They say Wyoming has four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction. Still, I'm getting tired of getting a cold snowy blast to the face every time I step outside.

Once again...

Simultaneously proving that 1) life imitates art, and b) utility does not rank high among the Patent Office's criteria. Or alternately, people are stupid.

I suppose there are theoretical situations in which it might possibly be useful. It still sounds silly.

For those of you

...who have yet to fill your Weird Music Quota for the day:

The Hallelujah Chorus...kind of.

Attention, geeks...

How long ago should I have posted "Happy Pi Day"?

R. I. P.

50 years ago today...

A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make those people dance,
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.
But February made me shiver,
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day the music died.

---Don McLean, "American Pie"

Holiday of the Week

Happy National Kazoo Day!

That's a Kitty!

When a paw hits your eye and you see stars go by,
That's a kitty.
When you feel claws dig in and you see feline grin,
That's a kitty.
Cat will purr at discomfiture 'til you grab her fur
And fling her through the ceiling.
Cat will play, always in the way, scorning your dismay,
And your days slyly stealing.

When you wake up in fear with a yowl in your ear,
That's a kitty.
When you dance down the hall trying hard not to fall,
That's a cat.
When you feel trembling but there's no earthquake
shaking the city
Just a cat in your lap, purring in her cat-nap...
That's a kitty!

What to do...

When you have too much time on your hands:


You're never too old to play with your food, kids!

I may be a lousy artist...

But at least I'm a lousy artist who can now do GIFs!



(Made with GIMP)