Merry Christmas!

To get in the holiday spirit, I'm adding some classic demented Christmas songs.

Christmas At Ground Zero
The Night Santa Went Crazy
I Found the Brains of Santa Claus
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Christmas parodies by Bob Rivers:
The 12 Pains of Christmas
I Came Upon a Roadkill Deer
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire
Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear
And many more...

Classics everyone knows and heartily loathes:
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

Got any other twisted favorites?

Just Because

Basic HTML text modifiers, for no particular reason.

<font size=3 color=#E902CF face="papyrus">
You can use any one or more of those attributes (size, color, face) in any order, just remember to start with "font".</font>

<b>Bold</b>
<i>Italic</i>
<u>Underline</u>
<s>Strikethrough</s>

And...
<a href="http://www.yourwebsite.com">Links.</a>

Cat Update

You know, it's really rather disconcerting to wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of assorted yowls, hisses, and scratching proceeding from two cats and a dog meeting unexpectedly in the living room. Most of it died down pretty quickly, but one of the participants emitted a steady stream of feline cussing for at least five minutes.

In the morning, my cat took it into her head to dash headlong from one end of the house to the other repeatedly. It's amazing how much noise those furry little paws and that light body can produce.

Cats are so weird.

Cities are Traps.

Last night I went to a storage shed. The front gate was under construction, so I had to go around back. That was OK, but when I wanted to leave again, I discovered it was a divided street and you could not make a left turn there. Naturally, that was the way I wanted to go.
OK, fine. I turned right, then took the next street to the right, looking for a place to turn around. I found a parking lot, turned in, and headed to the back entrance, which opened out onto the street I wanted to be on. It was still divided and I STILL could not turn left.
I turned around in the parking lot, went back to the original entrance, and finally got myself headed the right way on the right street. I continued down the road for a few blocks before I had to turn left. I got in the appropriate lane and waited for the light to turn green.
And waited.
And waited.
Time passed. Cars piled up behind me. Several species developed, built advanced civilizations, and became extinct. The light stayed red.
FINALLY, someone waiting behind me got out and ran across the street to hit the pedestrian crossing button. Shortly thereafter, the light finally turned green and an endless stream of cars poured through the intersection, freed.
As I drove along, I thought, "Surely that must be the worst of it." Right about then is when I hit the construction.
They had detour signs up, but after they led me through an area where no car had gone before, they seemed to get lost in the dark. I zigzagged through dark streets, roaring through the residential neighborhood, until I finally found a street I recognized, albeit not the one I wanted.
Somewhere out there, the city designers are cackling fiendishly with the construction managers.

Ouch

The cat also tries to skin me alive.

My only comfort is the indignant noises she makes when her tongue gets caught in my hair.

Zzzzzzzz...

A word to the wise:
If you want sleep, don't get a cat.

Rough chronology of my night:
10:30 - Lights out.
12:00 - Put book away. (Don't ask.)
12:30 - Start to fall asleep.
12:33 - Horrible yowling noises proceeding from the next room, where new cat encountered old.
1:00 - Start to fall asleep again.
1:02 - Something wet and slimy touches me. Jerk awake to discover it was a cat's tongue.
1:45 - Cat comes to snuggle up to me, purring. Loudly. Right in my ear.
2:00-4:00 - Spastic sleep. Cat wanders in and out, yowling every time she wants attention. Saying interesting things about whoever decided cats were nocturnal.
4:20 - Hear cat scratching suspiciously in the corner. Hastily get up and shift her to the litterbox.
4:35 - Cat uses litterbox for the first time. Am too sleepy to be relieved that I will not find another aromatic pile on my carpet.

And so on. Cats would be extinct long ago, if they weren't so cussedly stubborn. And cute.

Welcome to the Blog!

And now, to celebrate the opening of this blog, let's give a warm hand to: Cows With Guns!

This is a blog to collect assorted weird stuff, strange things, and accounts of the utterly odd.