Exciting new offer!

If you get this item, I guarantee your life will be changed. If you don't believe me, read the reviews.

Key reviews:
"Staring down a maniacal cosmonaut in his secret underground missile base, I instinctively reached for the BIC Crystal ballpoint in my pocket, only to discover to my horror that it did NOT have an emergency laser gun inside it. Heaven knows what the manufacturers were thinking, as every other pen I've used on a daily basis for the past 40 years included a gun or laser.

It's an adequate pen for accountants or lawyers or beekeepers, but not deadly enough to use to impress hot femme fatales with your pen-shooting skills."
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"Whilst this may cost more than a piece of pointy charcoal, I think the extra cost is justified."
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"It stares.

It stares. It does!

Oh, god, it stares.

Please make it stop."