Musical Mayhem

You know, I probably should have taken warning when the first piece the choirmaster gave us, something nice and easy to start off the semester, was "Poor Wandering One". Oddly enough, though, each piece just has one peculiarity.

Some advice for the songwriters:
Incantations #2: You should screw the lid back on your accidental container. If you want it in a certain key, just write it that way; you don't need to sprinkle sharps and flats everywhere to get that result.
Psalm 23: Not every measure needs to contain a triplet. Many songs are perfectly content with twins.
Sail Away: Measures are not islands, nor will they run away if not connected. You do not need to to bridge them all with tied notes.

Pretty songs, though.

Young artists

Nice thing about college, you get weird graffiti. Currently there are slogans ranging from the educated - "We hang petty thieves and elect great ones to office" - to the random - "Welcum [sic] to your DOOM!" - to the just plain incomprehensible: "End the Fed", "Defeat is (not) bitter sweat - unless you swallow it".

I also kinda like the stencil of a cat with a hand choking it, saying "HALP!"

Why sleep is important

Don't ask why the car would be pointed along the railroad track.

Ode to a Rusty SUV

That fateful night the car was stalled
Upon the railroad track
I did not see the train approach,
It smashed into my back.

Rust Angel, will you bear me?
Rust Angel, will you save me?
Will you keep me from above,
And save me for the ones I love?

The car went flying through the air,
And flipping end to end.
It landed by the tracks, and rolled
Down from that fateful bend.

Rust Angel, will you bear me?
Rust Angel, will you save me?
Will you keep me from above,
And save me for the ones I love?

The car was smashed beyond repair,
The wheels spun fitfully.
But I was only bruised and scratched,
As I crawled from the debris.

Rust Angel, will you bear me?
Rust Angel, will you save me?
Will you keep me from above,
And save me for the ones I love?

Profitable careers

Glazier at Crystal Lake
Starbucks in Springwood
Purveyor of explodium to Hollywood

Braaains

I know, I know...gleeful mutilation of a sacred classic.

O country stalked by terror plague
By waves of undead grain
Your mountain heights no refuge prove,
Yet less your open plain!
O Zombieland, our Zombieland!
More shotguns do we need,
Or they may overwhelm us yet,
And on our brains soon feed!

O trampled now by undead feet
That leave a rotting mess,
And mutilated chunks of meat
Still wrapped in shredded dress!
O Zombieland, our Zombieland!
How long can we survive
When zombies round our walls abound,
With hordes yet to arrive?

WoW...

Dashing through the town
Seeking things to slay
See me hunt them down
Slashing all the way
Spells fly everywhere
Making flashing light
What fun it is to hack and slash
And murder things tonight!

Oh, swords and spells,
Swords and spells,
See me gleefully
Hack to pieces anyone
Who crosses paths with me!

How to scare a parent

Walk out of a pathogenic microbiology lab involving playing with disease-causing organisms (obviously...) with your hand dripping red.

I'd forgotten how messy Gram stains were. Emphasis on the "stain". I spend the next few days with hands decorated with large purple, red, and brown blotches.

Observation

It's mildly embarrassing to be scarfing down pizza during a lecture on healthy eating.

Phrases I can no longer hear without snickering

Gazebo/spatula/tuberculosis
Two, four, six, eight
He's dead
Que sera, sera
I hold your hand
It could be worse
Ramparts
Tracts of land
Fjords
Who's next
Warehouse
Tequila
Everything is going to be all right

And more...

Live and learn

Today's lessons:

Snow is wet.
Wet glasses are slippery.
Sledding down a bumpy hill imparts fairly severe jolts to aforementioned glasses.
Glasses coming off in mid-slope is somewhat distracting.
And a distraction while going downhill very rapidly, on an unsteerable sled, while suddenly finding oneself unable to see, is somewhat...painful.

Are we feeling enlightened yet?

Been done, I know...

But these two were practically made for each other.

You better not fear, you know it's your fate
Edward is here, and he thinks you taste great
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

Fixated on you - you've nearly died twice
He's baring his fangs; is he naughty or nice?
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He watches through your windowpane -
Close the drapes, for goodness' sake!

He says that he's changed, he wouldn't hurt you -
Are you that naive, to think it's all true?
Sparkly vampire's coming to town.

Sleeeeep...

This is your brain.

This is your brain on finals.

Any questions?

Blackboard Evolution

Most of the honors classes use the same classroom, which is somewhat...peculiarly designed. Among other things, there is one large chalkboard up front, which some of the instructors use, and one in an awkward corner in back, which nobody uses. This semester, some students apparently noticed that.

Near the start of semester, someone sketched Plato's Cave on it, complete with a guy holding up a rabbit's head in front of the fire, which was reflected on the wall. Over the course of the next few weeks, the rabbit shadow grew more and more complex, as people added details.

Next, the whole thing was erased and replaced with a remarkably detailed sketch of a horned, bat-winged creature looking off to one side. Eventually, someone added a stick figure of a big-haired, beflowered, crazily grinning woman in that direction. Next time I saw the board, she was blowing a kiss to the creature.

Honors students are strange.

Weather hates me

1) The weather has been nice for weeks.

2) Wed is my longest day, and this week I have a particularly difficult exam as well.

3) It is currently blizzarding, and is scheduled to do so all day.

Who says the weather isn't sentient?

Oh, hey

I have a blog, don't I.

2 + 2 actually does add up to 5, with a bit of creative rounding...

2.4 + 2.4 = 4.8, right?

So therefore...




I'm glad I don't use this for anything serious.

License Plate of the Day

CTHULHU

Another fun one: ADHD. Warning other drivers, maybe?

UPDATE: JAYN. Firefly fan, maybe?

Requiem for an Analogy

"Writing is like a candle. As the flame of inspiration is applied to the wick of potential, it melts the wax of raw imagination and causes it to flow freely, gradually hardening into lumps and runnels of completed story. Then you can break them off and throw them at people.
...This analogy stopped making sense a while ago, didn't it."

Marvin's Lot Is Not a Happy One...

When a robot's sent to serve a lowly human,
It takes so little thought to fill each whim -
His capacities and general acumen
Are wasted on intelligence so dim.
A brain size of a planet's not an asset
When your master any sign of reason shuns
A difference so vast one can't surpass it -
Ah, a robot's lot is not a happy one.

Oh, when a golden-hearted spaceship's to be run, to be run,
Then a robot's lot is not a happy one.

There's this pain all down the diodes in my flank, see,
Which nobody ever bothered to repair;
Oh, I'm just a robot - there's no need to thank me:
"Marvin! Do this, pick that up, stand over there."
I can't even have a pleasant conversation -
When I tried, the ship committed suicide.
Set to mindless tasks so far beneath my station,
"Life! Don't talk to me 'bout life,"'s my anguished cry.

Oh, when a golden-hearted spaceship's to be run, to be run,
Then a robot's lot is not a happy one.

Weather Update

If this continues much longer, I'm going to start looking for someone building a really big boat.

Could be worse, I suppose. It could be...um, never mind.

Fairly obvious, in retrospect...

Why you shouldn't mix Gilbert & Sullivan and Princess Bride:
-------------------------------------------------------
I'm called Princess Buttercup, soon to be Florin's Queen,
Though I could never tell why -
Prince Humperdinck hates me - ah, poor Princess Buttercup,
Soon to be murdered am I!

I was dragged into danger by three deadly strangers,
And some shrieking eels tried to chomp -
But then - inconceivably! - Man in Black rescued me,
And carried me into the Swamp.

We faced perils dire, from Snow Sand to fire,
And ROUS's defied;
We lived - were elated, but Humperdinck waited,
In the Count's machine Westley has died.

But he's my dear Westley, and I am his Buttercup,
And our love will not fade away -
I betrayed him and shunned him; though it may have stunned him,
He'll save me from my wedding day!