Sunday, April 09, 2017

Seven: Prologue

Feet pounding, heart racing, breath coming in quick pants, Bianca ran.
She was glad she’d found the old mining road. The trails nearer town had become busy of late. Hard to get in a proper, satisfying run when she was constantly having to dodge other hikers and the occasional biker. But here, she had the whole road to herself. There was nothing but her, the wind in her ears, the road under her feet.
Today she’d dressed in primary colors. A red headband held back her short black hair. She wore a royal-blue T-shirt and sunny yellow running shorts. Her friend had made fun of the outfit, but Bianca enjoyed the bright colors.
She paused for a moment to get her breath, bending over with hands on her knees. Suddenly her heart nearly leaped out of her chest as she felt a hand in her hair, grabbing a fistful. She jerked upright, scarcely noticing the pain as the strands ripped from her scalp.
Standing in front of her was a dwarf wearing a purple dunce hat and oversized, patched green robe. A strand of drool hung from his slack mouth, and his beady eyes were dull.
Oblivious to her gaze, he reached with clumsy fingers to pat the black strands clutched in his other fist. In a low, hoarse voice, he muttered, “Pretty hair. Pretty princess. Pretty...” His voice trailed off into unintelligible mumbling.
Bianca took a step back, then another. Once she was certain he wasn’t going to follow, she whirled to run – only to nearly run into another dwarf standing directly behind her.
Face red with fury, he yelled, “Watch where you’re going! You nearly ran me over, you—”
A hand clapped over his mouth muffled the rest of his rant. The newcomer, a third dwarf, smiled at her. “Don’t mind Grumpy. He can be a bit quick-tempered at times.”
This dwarf wore blue pants, and a brown vest over his patched orange shirt. His pointy hat was orange as well. He beamed genially, like a favorite grandpa. Yet as Bianca looked into his eyes, the smile seemed to change, becoming less friendly and more maniacal. The twinkle in his eyes seemed more like a spark of madness.
A memory sparked in Bianca’s mind. She glanced around the circle of dwarves gathering around her. “The Glass Coffin Gang,” she breathed.
The smiling dwarf doffed his hat. “Happy at your service,” he confirmed cheerfully.
“And Grumpy.” She glanced at the still-fuming dwarf beside him.
The muttering of “Pretty princess...” behind her became audible again for a moment. Bianca found herself reluctant to look at – “Dopey,” she recalled.
A loud sneeze on her left drew her attention. The sneeze was followed by a wet, racking cough. The dwarf – Sneezy – spat a wad of phlegm of an unhealthy greenish color on the ground. Bianca felt a tickle begin in her own sinuses in sympathy.
Hastily averting her eyes, she turned to the dwarf next to him. This one carried a large black bag. This must be Doc. Grinning at her, he remarked, “Your heart rate is pretty elevated. Blood pressure’s probably through the roof. That’s not healthy for you, you know. But don’t worry” – he pulled a gleaming scalpel from his bag and stroked it – “we can take care of that for you.”
Bianca felt a scream building in her throat as she backed away. When a small hand politely tapped her shoulderblade, she shrieked at the top of her lungs. She whipped around. Facing her was yet another dwarf, this one slouched and listing to one side. His head sagged against one shoulder, and his eyes were closed. Sleepy. He was evidently the one who’d touched her, yet he didn’t even seem to be awake.
Something niggled at the back of Bianca’s brain. She forced herself to think through the panic. Her gaze flicked around the circle, and her lips moved as she silently counted to herself. One, two, three, four, five, six...weren’t there supposed to be seven of them?
A low chuckle sounded in her ear. “Don’t worry, Princess, I’m right here.”
She whirled around. But there was no one there.
The voice continued from directly behind her. “Bashful, at your service. Oh, don’t bother with that” – evidently in response to her continued spinning as she tried to see who was talking – “it’s not time for us to meet face to face. But don’t worry. You’ll see me eventually.” Unseen fingers traced her spine. “When it’s time for you to die.”
Bianca gasped.
A different voice chuckled. Happy stepped forward, rubbing his hands together. “And now that we’ve all been introduced, I vote that we adjourn to somewhere more...comfortable. Sleepy?”
Sleepy slouched forward. Suddenly his eyes popped open.
Bianca couldn’t tell what color his eyes were. Something about them spoke of immense depths, of endless eons. She unconsciously leaned forward, trying to get a better view of those fathomless eyes.
A moment later, her unconscious body slumped to the ground. The dwarves stepped forward as one.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Parodies


(To "Teen Angel")

One fateful day, the TARDIS lost, we got stuck in the past.
We found some DVDs and left a message meant to last.

Stone angels, you should fear them;
Stone angels, if you see them,
Just don’t blink or look away,
Or they’ll send you to the past to stay.

The Angels have the phone box and they’ll try to get inside,
To steal its timey-wimey power, and they’ll not be denied.
 (chorus)
It’s up to you to save us all, dear Sally Sparrow true;
Just give the TARDIS this CD, and she’ll know what to do.


(To "Rockin' Robin")


They roam through the alleys all night long,
Smacking and a-bopping and a-righting all wrong.
All the dirty crooks out on the street
Fear to face the Robin and meet defeat.

Bats and Robin.
Well, go, Batman, Robin, gonna stop a lot of crime tonight.

See how Poison Ivy, see Ra’s al Ghul,
See how Mr. Freeze even loses his cool.
There goes the Joker and Harley Quinn
No matter how they try, they will never win.
(chorus)
The dark and gloomy Batman in the Batcave’s night
Took an acrobat and taught him how to fight.
Then when he was ready, how that Robin flew –
He catnapped Catwoman and the Penguin too!

Thursday, August 11, 2016

DailyLife.js



public static void main(String[] args) {
Human person = new Human();
Cat fluffy = new Cat();
Meal breakfast, lunch, dinner = new Meal();
TaskList chores = new TaskList();

for (int i  = 1; i <= 365; i++)
{
        int day = i % 7;

        fluffy.wakeUp();
        fluffy.wakeHuman(person);
        person.feedCat(fluffy);
        person.getDressed();
        person.eat(breakfast);

        if (day == 0)
                person.goToChurch();
        else if (day == 6) {}
        else
                person.goToWork();

        while (!chores.areDone() )
        {
                person.doTasks(chores);

                if (person.isHungry() )
                {
                        person.goToKitchen();
                        person.eat(lunch);
                }
        }
       
        person.setFreeTime(true);

        while (person.hasFreeTime()  && !person.isTired() )
        {
                person.play();

                if (person.isHungry() )
                {
                        person.goToKitchen();
                        person.eat(dinner);
                }
        }

        person.feedCat(fluffy);

        if (person.isTired() )
                person.goToBed();
}
}

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Balrogy



‘Twas midnight, and the pounding drums
Did boom and rumble in the deep.
The Fellowship—how far they’d come!—
Did hardly dare to sleep.

“Beware the Balrog, Mithrandir!
The magic dark, the swift attack!
Beware Ungoliant, and fear
Ancalagon the Black!”

He took his elven blade in hand;
Long time through Khazad-dûm they walked.
They made their stand in a cavern grand,
With no more time to talk.

But as they stood prepared to fight,
The Balrog grim, with whip of flame,
Strode forth all cloaked in wings of night,
And thundered as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
Bright Glamdring hewed the fiery sword.
They battled long, from depths to peak,
Ere Balrog broke upon the sward.

“And hast thou slain the Balrog, then?
Come, garb thyself in robes of white!
Oh frabjous day! Calloo, callay!”
Thus Gandalf grew in might.

‘Twas daylight, and the pounding drums
Did no more rumble in the deep.
The Fellowship had come and gone,
And Moria did sleep.