Puff the Drugged-Up Dragon

Found while looking through one of my old school notebooks.

Puff the drugged-up dragon smoked PCP,
And frolicked in a smoky haze in a land called LSD.
Sometimes he'd see a child, a boy made out of fluff,
Tinfoil, strings, and sealing wax, and other fancy stuff. Oh...

Chorus
Together they were tripping, on a boat with rainbow sails, 
Flying high o'er sparkling seas, where bunnies danced with whales.
Bowing kings and princes beckoned them to come
Through magic gates of rainbow clouds beneath the smiling sun.

Chorus
A dragon lives forever, but crash must follow high,
And bodies have their limits - yes, you must go straight or die.
One gray night it happened: men came to his door,
The rehab clinic took him in - oh, Puff would soar no more.

His muscles started spasming, his scales fell like rain.
Jackie Paper waved goodbye from a corner of his brain.
Without his lifelong friends, Puff could not be brave.
He learned to do without his friends, forever left his cave.
Chorus

Comes Great Destruction

Chapter 1

The peaceful, sunny afternoon in Everycity was abruptly shattered when the town hall burst into flames. Screaming men, women, and children poured through the main doors, trying to escape the figure in a silver protective suit who paced behind them, laughing maniacally as he fired the flamethrowers he dual-wielded indiscriminately in all directions.

“Fools! Cower before your new master or burn in your own stupidity, for I...AM...PYRO-MAN!” Whirling, he turned both flamethrowers full on the statue of the town’s founder that stood in front of the building.

“Not today, Pyro-Man!”

At the sound of the challenge, the silver-helmeted head turned to the sky. Hovering in a sunbeam, hands on hips, was a clean-shaven, well-muscled young man with brown hair and a blinding smile, wearing a skintight yellow-and-white suit with a long cape and a domino mask. The shield-shaped emblem on his chest depicted a fist holding a lightning bolt, on a light blue background.

The reassuring smile vanished as he loooked away from the fleeing citizens, who had stopped to applaud. He frowned down at Pyro-Man and announced, “This is your only chance. Surrender now, or I will be forced to take you down!”

“Captain Invincible!” the villain shouted back defiantly. “Your reign is at an end – this is my town now! I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!” He turned both flamethrowers on the Captain, who disappeared into the inferno.

Only for a minute, though. Then he stepped out again, perfectly composed. Not a thread of his costume was charred.

“Is that all you’ve got? I’ve had worse sunburns!” he called.

“You may be immune to my fire, Captain – but I bet she isn’t!”

With one quick movement, the villain grabbed a young red-haired woman wearing a press badge, who had tripped and fallen nearby. She flinched as he yanked her to her feet and doused her with gasoline from a nozzle on his wrist.

“What now, Captain?” Pyro-Man taunted. “Let me go free, or this pretty thing will become a lot hotter!”

“Allow me to quench your ardor, Pyro-Man!” the hero shouted in reply. He swooped down and ripped a nearby fire hydrant out of the ground, then used it to aim the resulting fountain at the two, knocking them both to the ground.

The reporter regained her wits more quickly and started crawling away. The villain looked at his flamethrowers, now drenched and useless, for a moment, then threw them away with a cry of rage and started struggling to his feet.

Suddenly Captain Invincible was there. “Let me give you a hand,” he offered helpfully, and grabbed Pyro-Man by the back of his neck, lifting him clear off the ground. As the first police cars arrived on the scene, sirens wailing, the Captain marched his captive accross the lawn to where police were waiting to take him into custody.

The Captain was still nodding graciously in response to their heartfelt thanks when a scream rang out. He whipped around and took in the scene in a moment.

The reporter was hobbling along in a way that suggested a sprained ankle. Beside her, a burning tree was creaking ominously. She hobbled faster, but as the tree started to fall, there was obviously no way she was going to make it.

Captain invincible was across the lawn in a single giant leap. As the reporter stared up at the fiery tree in terrified fascination, suddenly he was there beside her, catching the burning branches effortlessly on his back. “Off you go, ma’am,” he told her, displaying his brilliant smile again.

She nodded and retreated as quickly as she could. When she was a safe distance away, he grabbed the tree and tossed it off of him. Brushing the soot off his hands, he turned to go.

“Wait!”

He turned back. The pretty reporter was waving frantically at him with one hand, and fishing for pen and paper with the other.

“Who are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here?” The questions spilled out of her as he approached.

“I’m Captain Invincible, ma’am, and I’m...just doing my job.” He nodded courteously to her.

She took a wobbly step forward and laid a hand on his arm. “You saved my life, you know,” she said with a shy smile. “If there’s ever anything I can do for you...” She pulled a business card out of her pocket and handed it to him.

He glanced at it as the paramedics bustled up with a stretcher. In simple gold lettering on a cream background, it read, “Sally Smith – Reporter, Everycity News”, with her contact information.

She yelled, “Thank you!” as the paramedics took her away. He responded with a salute, then sprang gracefully into the sky and soared home.

Sally Smith. She seemed like a nice girl...maybe he could see her again sometime.

Chapter 2

Captain Luke Matthews looked up at the sound of the doorbell. He opened the door, smiled at the young man outside, and exchanged a wad of cash for a pleasantly warm pizza box.

He set the pizza down on the kitchen counter, then paused and picked up Sally’s business card still lying there. He hadn’t seen one of these in a while. His fingers traced the edges of the card as his mind went back...

He’d been a returning hero, a media darling, coming home victorious from the war. He’d acquitted himself bravely, stood by his comrades, pulled off a few dangerous missions, some daring rescues. Then the war ended, and he’d come home with a chestful of medals, several commendations, and an honorable discharge.

Reporters had flocked around him for a time: the shining, all-American young star, bold symbol of victory. He’d ridden the coattails of his fame long enough to get a decent position as a construction foreman before the media got bored and moved on to newer, more exciting topics, leaving him to sink into obscurity.

What he found instead was another war.

He didn’t notice it at first – the atmosphere of fear that hung sullenly over the poor quarter of the city, where he lived. Not until, walking home late one night, he heard a woman screaming in an alley. There were several people nearby, but all they did was walk a bit faster, staring fixedly straight ahead. Horrified by their indifference, Luke found himself running straight for the sound.

There was only one attacker, who turned and ran at the sight of a very fit, angry-looking man advancing on him. But when Luke went to the police station the next day, he found no help. Their expressions grew distant and closed-off as soon as he mentioned where the attack had taken place.

“Forget it, son,” a grizzled old officer advised, patting him on the shoulder. “Criminals breed like rats down there. There’s nothing we can do about it, and neither can you.”

But Captain Matthews refused to accept that.

He started patrolling the streets, a few hours every night. Most nights were uneventful, but he did manage to break up a few assaults.

Then, one night, he went farther than usual. Rounding a corner, he saw a thrashing woman, making muffled noises of protest, being dragged into a van by two dark figures. As he broke into a sprint, the door slammed shut and the van drove off, tires squealing.

It didn’t go far. As he reached the corner where it had turned, he saw it turn into a driveway in the distance. Without hesitation, he raced after them.

The van was parked at an old, abandoned factory. He quietly moved around the building until he found a window that hung slightly open on rusted hinges. When he tried to open it, it snapped off in his hands. He winced, but no one came running to investigate the noise.

Climbing in, he found himself in a dark, dusty hallway. He followed a strange cacophony of sounds in the distance to a large, brightly lit room filled with cages. He halted, shocked.

The cages were full of...things. Unholy mixtures of every creature known to man, no two alike. The worst were the ones who looked like they had once been human – many with the light of intelligence almost drowned by unspeakable horror behind their misshapen eyes.

Luke didn’t know how long he stood frozen at the sight. After a timeless moment, a scream from somewhere on the far side of the room jolted him back to his senses.

He ran through the monstrous zoo, silently promising them that he would come back to release them from their misery. Bursting through a double doorway at the far side, he saw a nearly naked girl lying on an operating table with a man in surgical garb standing over her, next to a tray of mysterious medical instruments.

The man looked up, eyes widening above his mask. He gestured to two goons standing in the back of the operating theater, who obediently ran to tackle the intruder.

Menacing as they looked dressed all in black, complete with masks and gloves, they were lousy fighters. Luke knocked them unconscious with two quick blows, then turned to release the girl, politely averting his eyes as much as possible.

When she was free, he glanced around, but the scientist was gone. The girl pointed to a doorway in the back of the room. He muttered a quick “Thank you” and headed that way.

Going through the door, he found himself on a rickety catwalk running over several open vats of mysterious chemicals in a massive room. Picking a direction, he raced along it, until a shrill cackle brought him skidding to a halt.

The scientist, now in a traditional lab coat and with the cap no longer hiding his shock of white hair, rounded a corner ahead of him. At his side was something furry, eight-legged, and slavering that looked like a cross between a wolf, a tarantula, and a scorpion. He reached up to pet two creatures sitting on his shoulders – they looked like lab mice, one small and squat with a giant head, and one long and skinny with large ears.

“I am Dr. Recombinant! I neither know nor care who you are or why you are here, but I’m glad you came – my pets need some exercise!” He cackled again and gestured to the creature at his side, which bounded forward, snarling.

Luke looked around hastily. He was cut off on all sides. Behind him, another goon urged a second of the creatures on. Below him, a vat of glowing, sickly green goo bubbled.

Dr. Recombinant caught his glance and called, “I wouldn’t try it, if I were you! The previous tenant used to dispose of his radioactive waste in there!” His giggles redoubled at the thought.

Just then, the first monster hit. Only Luke’s arm thrown up in instinctive defense saved his throat from being torn out. He cried out at the pain of the fangs buried in his arm, with mandibles scraping bloody furrows alongside. The staggered back against the rusty guardrail, which snapped under the impact. He hung in midair for a second before falling towards the vat waiting hungrily below. His arm tore free of the creature’s jaws as he fell, and he had a moment to wonder how it was possible to hurt even more, before he hit the fluid’s surface and found out.

Pain.

Every cell on fire.

Pain.

Can’t breathe.

Air.

Pain.

Arm over the edge.

Falling out.

Hit the floor.

Pain.

Blackness.

He woke up in the hospital. Apparently the girl had had the presence of mind to call the police, who arrived in time to catch Dr. Recombinant and destroy his “pets”.

Over the next few weeks, he explored his new abilities. Super-strength. Flight. And of course, complete invulnerability to anything short of a nuclear bomb – the DoD wouldn’t let him test that one.

Finally he had a purpose. He put on a new mask, a new uniform, and a new identity.

Protector of the helpless. Captain Invincible.

Chapter 3

That had been ten years ago, and he’d been wearing the mask ever since. Captain Luke Matthews finished off the last slice of pizza and stood to go to bed. It was a good life.

Next morning, he settled down with a hot cup of coffee to read the daily paper. He smiled to see that his capture of Pyro-Man had made the front page, and noted with interest that police were said to have uncovered some vital new evidence in the case.

He skimmed the rest of the paper quickly. Pop star caught using drugs, rash of unexplained spontaneous human combustions the previous day, celebrity wedding coming up next week. Nothing special.

Luke dutifully put in his eight hours with the construction company before becoming Captain Invincible once again and heading to the police station. The receptionist nodded in friendly greeting and told him the chief was in.

The chief looked up as he walked in. He was a grizzled, weatherbeaten man of about forty, and looked older. He nodded towards a chair and said gruffly, “Evening, Captain. I’ve been expecting you.”

Without waiting for a response, he picked up several folders and started flipping through them as he continued, “Want your take on this. We thought the Pyro-Maniac case was just your basic mad-villain-rampage sort of thing, but looks like he was hired to retrieve somethings from city records.” He passed the folders to the Captain, who started looking through them. The chief went on, “Why anyone would send a fire guy to fetch papers, I don’t know. No clue why he started flaming out, either. Covering his tracks, or just got bored? You can never tell with these world-domination types...Anyhow.”

The Captain looked up. “Why these records? They’re nothing important, just old lawsuits.”

“Property disputes along the Wiatonga River, yeah.”

“Who hired him?”

“That’s the thing, he doesn’t know. All we have is this.” The chief handed over a scrap of paper with a single 16-digit number on it. “This is how he was supposed to get in touch with the buyer.”

“Address? Phone number?”

“No idea. We were hoping you might have some ideas.”

The Captain nodded. “Fair enough. I’ll let you know if I find anything. Mind if I keep this?”

“Go ahead, we’ve already scanned it in.”

“Thanks. Was there anything else?”

The chief shook his head. “No, that was all we had.”

“I’ll see you later, then.” The Captain stood to shake hands, then headed out.

His next stop was the hospital, where a very flustered duty nurse pointed out “Miss Sally’s” room. He politely signed her autograph book before going in.

Sally’s eyes lit up at the sight of him, and she quickly closed her laptop. “Come in, Captain, come in!”

He came forward to shake her hand, commenting, “I’m surprised you’re still here. Is anything wrong?”

She brushed her bangs aside to reveal a small bandage. “I hit my head when I fell. They wanted to keep me for a while for observation. I was actually just leaving in a few minutes.”

“Glad I caught you, then. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Sally blushed. “I’m fine, thanks to you.”

“My pleasure.”

She said hastily, “So did you find out anything about the guy who did it?”

“Only that he was working for someone else. We don’t know who – all we’ve got is some sort of encrypted contact info.”

“Can I see it?”

He hesitated. She caught it and smiled playfully. “Hey, I’m a reporter, remember? Getting information is what I do. Maybe I can help.”

The Captain threw up his hands in mock surrender and passed her the paper. She stared at it intently for a few moments, then absentmindedly flipped open her laptop and started typing furiously, with a look of rapt concentration on her face.

A few minutes later, she shouted, “Got it!”

He was at her side in an instant. “You did?! What is it?”

“GPS coordinates.”

He blinked. “Aren’t those usually...shorter?”

“Yeah, I had to run it through a – never mind. Anyhow, the coordinates lead to the Wiatonga Dam.”

On impulse, he hugged her. “That’s amazing, Sally! I have to let the chief know.”

She was looking at him with a slightly dazed expression. “Th-that’s the first time you’ve used my name...”

He reddened and drew back. “My apologies, Miss Smith.”

“No! It’s fine. I mean – I don’t mind.” She shook herself. “You’re going to check it out, right?”

“Of course. If you’ll excuse me –“ He turned to go, but her hand shot out and clamped onto his wrist.

“Take me with you. Please.” She gazed into his eyes with unnerving intensity.

“It will be dangerous. “You’re” – his eyes flicked to her ankle – “hurt.”

“I’m a reporter. Danger is my job.” Her voice held iron-hard determination.

“And protecting you is mine. A job I can’t do if you go rushing off half-cocked, trying to get yourself killed.”

“But – “

“No.” His tone left no room for argument.

“Fine.” She crossed her arms and stared out the window.

He hesitated for a moment, then left.

A minute later, Sally picked up her phone and dialed a number. “Hey, boss? How quickly can you get me to the Wiatonga Dam?”

Captain Invincible went back to the police station to let the chief know what they had found out. The chief was surprised to see him back so soon, and delighted to find out they had the answer already.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” the Captain cautioned. “He may have already escaped, since we caught his partner.”

“More like dupe, I’m guessing. Still, it’s worth a look,” the chief responded cheerfully. “By the way, while you’re here, you want to take care of transporting Pyro-Maniac to the state supervillain detention facility?”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll head over to the dam to check things out after that.”

Convict transport was easy. Most of them complained at first, but by the time they were a thousand feet in the air, dangling by one arm, they tended to shut up.

After his fiery captive was dropped off and all the appropriate forms signed, Captain Invincible took off again, soaring through the night to the dam.

Chapter 4

He made a graceful touchdown on top of the dam. No one was around, but a door was slightly ajar nearby. He quietly entered and began moving down the hallway.

How the dam stood up, he had no idea. The place seemed to be riddled with corridors running every which way. He moved through them largely at random, always moving further down.

Finally he found a trail of damp footprints, slowly drying under the corridor lights. He followed them down to the bottom of the dam. Opening the last door, he found himself in a room with all four walls covered in TV screens, scenes from all over the world flashing by every moment. A tangle of wires ran everywhere, converging on a thin bald man in a long robe sitting quietly in the middle of the room, facing away from the entrance.  A large bundle of wires seemed to be attached to the base of his skull.

“A pleasant base, this,” he said conversationally without turning around. “All the electricity I need at my fingertips, and plenty of warning if...unexpected visitors should come calling.” At some unseen signal, the section of floor he was sitting on rotated, turning him to face said visitor. His face was as hairless as his scalp, and cadaverous in its leanness.

“I am Datamaster. Welcome to my humble abode, Captain Invincible.”

The Captain crossed his arms. “Are you the one who sent Pyro-Man to steal those files?”

Datamaster inclined his head. “I am. A regrettable necessity. I am glad you were able to find your way here – I was uncertain if I had provided enough clues.”

“Then you are under arrest. If you come quietly, no harm will come to you.”

His opponent chuckled. “I am afraid I cannot do that. Yes, you certainly have the advantage as regards brute force” – he indicated his gaunt form with a sweeping gesture – “but if you take me in...you will never know, will you?”

The Captain paused, then asked quietly, “Know what?”

Suddenly the wall of screens behind Datamaster lit up. Sally was manacled to a chair in a small room with a damp floor. A small pipe in one corner, near the roof, was slowly dripping water.

There must have been another monitor in the cell. She looked up sharply and cried, “No, Captain! It’s a trap! He wants – “

The sound cut off abruptly, though her lips were still moving. The villain commented casually, “That was just to get your attention. I have something much more important to tell you.”

In a flash, Captain Invincible’s hand was around his throat, lifting him so his feet dangled above the floor. “Where is she?! Let her go at once!”

Datamaster couldn’t speak, but he didn’t need to. On the screens, the pipe in Sally’s cell suddenly started pouring water. His suffused face managed an expression that was clearly a smirk.

The message was clear. With an effort, the Captain released his grip and took a step back, clenching his fists at his sides. The pipe slowed down, though it did not stop entirely.

The man on the floor took a deep breath, massaging his throat. After a moment, he said, “Much better. Now that we are in agreement, I have something to show you.” He paused. “Did you ever wonder how, exactly, your powers work? I have, you know. I make it a point to investigate any potential enemies thoroughly. And, as should be evident, I have the resources to do it.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smile, as he gestured towards the screens surrounding them.

The image of Sally shrank, moving to a side wall. The first screen now displayed an image of what appeared to be people, connected by a spiderweb.

“They say that any two people in the world are connected by only six degrees of separation. My theory is that you have a much, much closer connection – with some of them, at least.

“Did you ever read the news after one of your battles? I did. Exhaustively. If you would look over here...One of your early opponents, I believe. MerLord. Lived in an underwater lair.” The screens flashed images of headlines from around the world, dated the following day, each describing a bizarre incident where someone drowned on dry land under mysterious circumstances.

“84 deaths that I know of. Or how about the Lance? Gravity powers. His enemies tended to turn up as flattened discs. Except for you. You were immune.” Datamaster paused, while the screen displayed images of people crushed out of nowhere, by nothing. “Weren’t you?

“Only 13 deaths from that one. The Lance was a quick learner. Even Pyro-Man didn’t do much worse – 18 died last night.” Images of deaths labeled “Spontaneous Human Combustion”, including the one that had shown up in the Everycity News that day. “Some of them were fairly spectacular, though. Remember the Blademaster? 163. How about Stellar, with that plasma cannon of hers? She achieved 394 deaths, I believe.”

Captain Invincible was shaking his head in horrified denial. “I – I didn’t do all that...did I?”

“Oh yes, you did,” the calm voice continued relentlessly. “Not directly, naturally. I postulate that the magic links you to a random person, somewhere in the world. Any damage you take is inflicted on that person. When he or she can take no more...the victim dies, and the magic claims someone else. Not all of them die – immediately, at any rate. Some of them seem to have survived, albeit with severe injuries, until your next fight.”

The Captain backed away, step by step. “No! It’s not true! It can’t be!” But he remembered. All the headlines that he’d thought nothing of. It was true. He had been killing the very people he sought to protect.

He was a murderer. A destroyer of the innocent.

He was the very evil he had sought to remove from the world.

“But...what about the rest of it?” he almost whispered, trying desperately to find a shield, something good in the ruin his life had become. “The strength, the flight?”

“There is a noticeable upswing in the number of people admitted to the hospital for unexplained muscular dystrophy after each demonstration of strength. This was a bit harder to track, but I was able to find the hospital records.” The records flashed accusingly on the wall, key words and phrases highlighted. “The flight...I have not found anything I would consider conclusive, but there have been a few mentions of whole flocks of birds dropping from the sky. It is usually put down to a flux in the Earth’s magnetic fields.”

The Captain was huddled in the corner, shaking his head in vain denial. He dared one glance at the corner of the screen where Sally still watched. The water was up to her waist by now, but she wasn’t paying attention. Her face held an expression of sheer horror that seemed to rip his heart out.

“And there you have it.” Datamaster spread his hands. “Now, what are you going to do about it? Arrest me? I have killed no one. Put yourself in custody, perhaps? But what will that do to atone for all the deaths you have caused? Maybe you can request the death penalty. How, precisely, will that be accomplished, I wonder?”

The Captain’s thoughts seemed to be circling inwards in a black spiral. He was a murderer. He needed to be punished. He deserved to die. But he couldn’t. Because the attempt would just cause more death. He was a murderer. He needed to be punished.

He deserved to die.

Death would bring more death.

Never again.

Blood on his hands.

The horror staring accusingly from Sally’s eyes.

So many lives.

Never again.

He had to die.

He couldn’t die.

Had to.

Couldn’t.

NEVER AGAIN.

NEVER.

NEVER...

In the corner, the shell that was once Captain Invincible rocked back and forth. He didn’t notice when, on the monitors, Sally – water now up to her neck – suddenly looked offscreen and began yelling silently, nor when the water level dropped suddenly and policemen rushed into the room. He saw nothing when Datamaster uncoiled himself, unplugged the wires from his head, and sauntered out of the room. And he knew nothing when police rushed in, yelling questions he didn’t hear, looking at him with concerned faces.

They say you can still find him, hidden away in a mental ward somewhere. They can’t use needles on him, and pills have no effect. All day long he rocks, staring into the distance with glazed, unseeing eyes. He mumbles under his breath. They say, if you lean very close and listen carefully, you can hear what he’s saying:

Never again...

The End